"Church didn't change her, Jesus did.” -Tony Evans
Today I want to share a bit of my life with you. I am a woman that needs God to function. I need him so desperately that I can't operate as a human without him.
When I am unraveling, it is because I'm not leaning on God to hold me together.
Jesus has changed my life in ways unimaginable. He has healed me physically time and time again. He has healed me emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. He has no limits to when he pours out his love!
God has been my anchor in times I thought I would drift away in madness or despair.
Jesus has grabbed me and he is not letting go. He has been fighting for me since day one and I know he won't stop now.
When I feel lost I reflect on my life verse, Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV), ”You WILL seek me and FIND me when you seek me with ALL your heart.”
When I feel lost and in desperate need, this verse reminds me that God is always right there. He is ahead of me fighting for me. He is behind me, blocking my enemy's sneak attacks. He is there walking by my side. He is there to push me into the unknown when I am surrounded by foes, pushing me over a cliff’s edge to keep me safe from a charging attack.
God doesn't push us without a plan. As his mighty hand shoves me, all I feel is fear and abandonment, not knowing why I'm falling. But, Jesus always has a plan. As I look over my shoulder I can see his victory swooping down from heaven. And even if I land in the despair, he will scoop me out. The despair is better than the pain and torture I would have gone through if he didn't send me over the edge.
His loving hand that pushes me over the edge, not only saves me from the attacks I don't see coming, it also saves me from the jagged rocks below. He doesn't let me fall off a cliff but propels me past serrated rocks into the sea where the waves may toss me, but he is with me. He is my anchor. He is what keeps me breathing as the waves beat down.
The best part about being in the ocean is the victory of being scooped out of it and placed on dry land. Being able to look back and see the battles he fought for me, to look and see how he kept me afloat. I am filled with great gratitude as I stand on dry land, clinging to the great joy I have in my King.
When I meet new people I need them to know that the church can’t change me, Jesus can. I met Jesus at church, I met Jesus on my couch at 4:00 am, I met Jesus as I wept into the arms of a friend who I knew would lead me back to Him with their prayers. I can meet Jesus anywhere, at any time. I love attending church with others who encourage me and believe what I believe, but the church hasn't changed me, God has.
So don't give up on your fight, because he is there with you. He asks us to seek Him and He WILL be found by us. Jesus is there even when we can't see him. He might be right behind you to one side, walking in your desert, burning his feet too, because he would rather suffer with you than ever be in an eternity without you.
God loves you deeply, please let him be your anchor, let him change you.
Beauty Beyond Eden, Director
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